Monday, 7 January 2013

Lesson in Friends

Today i am going to write about some general knowledge everyone should know on the friends you need around you to get through life. I believe that in everyone's life there are certain types of friends everyone has to have. So without further adieu.

1. The friend that's not got the looks, the smarts or the luck. (Unlucky Friend)
This main purpose of this friend is to increase your ego. So when life is bringing you down, and you need a boost, you go to your unlucky friend because you know they'll be having a worse time then you. If your feeling fat, go stand next you your unlucky friend because they are fatter then you. Or maybe your parent's have talked about that friend that they wished was their child a bit too much for one day. Go see the unlucky friend, cos you know your parents do not want THAT friend to be theirs. This is what i like to call a multi-purpose friend, they have many uses and never dissapoint. So if you haven't already got one, go out and find one. They do come in handy.

1a. Sometimes you can't always find that unlucky friend in just one person so perhaps you need a few. So some of my recommendations in friends to look for to make you feel better would be. A friend that's fatter then you, because we all care about how we look no matter what people say, and with a fat friend you'll always look better when standing next to them. A friend that's dumber than you, because when you talk to them you're fucking Einstein in their eyes. And last a unlucky or clumsy friend because when you trip over your own feet down the road and everyone see's if this friend is next to you, you know they will have done the same but with an added face plant on the floor moving attention from you to them. Also it will be fucking funny. So if you cant find an all out unlucky friend, find a few of these guys instead.

2. The friend that has always done something worse. (Evil friend)
This friend is for when you have done something bad, perhaps slept with your best friends boyfriend....again. Or forgot to feed your sisters hamster while she's away...again, causing another run to the shop for a new Mister Muggles just to find out later that the new Mister Muggles is actually Mrs Muggles, causing a very blurred version of the birds and the bee's to try and explain that one. Anyway when you have done something bad causing you to feel those guilt feelings and remorse go to this friend. This is the friend that you know has done worse, you slept with your best friends boyfriend, they slept with their cousin... again. Now this friend may not be the most polite person that you want your whole to meet but they sure can make that guilt and remorse seem like yesterdays problems. Just be careful not to introduce them to your other half, or your cousins for that matter.

3. The friend that is better than you. (Cunt Friend)
Now this may seem like an odd one but the point of this friend is to never let yourself think you're on top of your game. This friend is someone that always seem to do better than you, now you won't like this friend so much and you don't have to see them too often but just keep up to date in what they're doing, because a bit of competition is good for the soul and when you do actually beat them in something, its makes it soooo much better.

4. The friend that is a bitch (bitch friend)
This is one of my favourite friends but this friend is the one who will always find something to bitch about. Their is always some sort of drama going on and someone is always a dick to this person causing a bitchfest. This friend is to help you blow off steam, because once they start bitching, you'll join in because everyone does. There is always someone that has pissed you off, maybe at work or school or the gym. Whatever but bitch friend will listen because its all they care about, Bitching is their life and sometimes there is nothing better.

Now im sure their is many more types of friends out there that are needed in life, and if you have any suggestions let me know. Hope you enjoyed reading.


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